If you were around during the summer you’ll have caught a couple brief references to the very well endowed Italian man (“Italian Stallion”) whom I dumped. I don’t believe I blogged much about him back then (didn’t really blog much at all back then, actually) so let me give you a quick run through. We met on good ol’ POF and after dating here and there for a couple months I told him that I didn’t think we should see each other anymore. I was afraid that the cultural differences would be too much for me to figure out. He was definately a bit hurt that I was calling things off but he handled it graciously and we continued chatting here and there over the last few months since.
Lately, he’s expressed his interest in dating again- but then he also says he’s not sure because of what happened last time. Well we got to chatting on Friday night and decided since we were both sitting home doing nothing, he would come over and watch a movie with me. We actually had a really great time. We talked more than we’ve ever talked before, and we laughed a LOT, and of course laughing led to kissing and kissing led to making out and that led to… you get the picture? The next thing I knew we were snuggling in bed and it was Saturday morning. Even though he has a habbit of snuggling me right off the bed (he likes to get close and really hold on) it was actually really nice! It felt… natural, and comfortable. He was so sweet with his kisses on my forehead and constantly pulling me closer so I could lie my head on his shoulder, and the way he plays with my hair.
You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this. The trouble is, I can’t figure him out any better now than I could then. One of my concerns last time was that he might be a player. Why? Well, mostly because he never took me out on any “real” dates. We were always hanging out at home or car shopping (he had sold his car and was in the market for a new one). Then, there’s the physical aspect… right from the get go it’s been pretty hot and heavy which I’m certainly not complaining about but put those two things together and that screams player, right? When I asked him why- he said that he didn’t have a car at the moment and he wanted to be able to come and pick me up and take me out properly. That was understandable but I still wasn’t sure.
Over our more recent conversations that worry has subsided significantly. He works a lot and it doesn’t seem that he’s been dating anyone. That’s not to say he just hasn’t been open about it, but I’ve been putting pieces together and everything seems to line up. As far as I can tell I have no reason not to trust him. That said, it still doesn’t mean that he’s all that into ME. It’s hard to read someone who’s from a completely different culture. This morning we were talking about getting together again and he made a joke about me cooking for him. I threw back a joke about how real men would take me out. He said that he would, “eventually”. What does that mean? I feel like we’re doing everything backwards but then at the same time when I think about the kind of guy he is it seems to make sense. He doesn’t really go out, he’s much more of a homebody. He doesn’t eat out, he cooks at home all the time. It’s not that he can’t afford it, he makes plenty of cash, and he has a car now (a NICE car, I might add), and he was with the same girl in Italy for 6 years before he came here. Between the things he’s said and what I’m reading into the situation, it seems as though he’s trying to get to know me and find out where I stand before he lets his guard down. He’s told me flat out that he doesn’t think I like him because I am “always making excuses not to see him”. I can’t really blame him for that- dating gives me anxiety so unless it’s planned in advance and I’m mentally prepared for it, I flake out.
It seems like we’re both sitting back wondering if the other person really likes us. So where do I go from here? How do I make sure I’m not getting played while at the same time letting my guard down enough to let a good thing happen if it’s meant to? It doesn’t help that he’s coming over tonight and I don’t really know what to do.