“And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” -Khalil Gibran During heartbreak, there comes a point where you have to mentally push aside all of the little things. The grey … Continue reading
Alright. Time to snap out of this crabby funk I’ve been in for the last week or two. I’ve been so stressed out at work between year-end, drilling season, and everyone else being on vacation that I can’t stay focused and haven’t been sleeping which has caused me to become a complete basket case. Hell, I wouldn’t be around me right now if I could help it. I almost skipped out on New Years Eve festivities Thursday but I knew that would just make my mood worse so I ended up going to a party at the last-minute. I’m glad I did because I had a good time and met some new and interesting people. I had dinner yesterday with my parents and my brother and it was a disaster. It started off okay but as the night went on my brother started irritating me more and more. I think it’s the job of siblings to torment each other, but unfortunately I’ve never been very good at it. My baby brother on the other hand, is a pro. When he was 6 he put toothpicks in my mattress, I spent an hour picking them out of my right thigh that night. The last year or so the kid’s had a growth spurt and not only is he now bigger than me, but he’s also been pumping iron like crazy. Last night he was beating on me as usual and instead of grabbing the jug of water I was reaching into the fridge for, I grabbed a container of Christmas ham and I whipped it at his head. (Quick, hand me a razor! I hear losing your mind and shaving your head is totally in vogue right now.) As stupid as that was, I started laughing- and then I started crying. I grabbed my coat, told him I fucking hated him, stormed out and blubbered like a school girl all the way home. What the bloody hell is that about? I’m like a child sometimes, exhaustion hits and I get crabby, irritable and emotional over the slightest things. I’m actually embarrassed, I had to avoid my Mother’s calls today because I didn’t know how to explain my little outburst of riddiculousness (which should totally be a word, btw).
At least I’m feeling a bit better today. I slept for a good 12+ hours last night and then I spent the day putting away Christmas decorations and rearranging furniture with my patio doors open. The fresh air was nice and I always find cleaning and decorating to be therapeutic. There’s nothing like being in a crabby mood and taking it out on your counter tops. I was a bit irritated with a friend tonight though. I was originally supposed to spend NYE with this specific friend but then she bailed on me to go to a party hosted by someone I can’t stand. This morning she called and asked if I wanted to go see the new Sherlock Holmes flick with her and the guys but at the last-minute she couldn’t get ahold of her husband who was out, and our plans fell through. If there’s anything I hate it’s when people leave plans until the last-minute or bail out. I hate being disappointed, and since I’m a pretty excitable person, I usually am.
Tomorrow I’m going to get out of the house and get some sunshine. Maybe I’ll get in a good work-out and go see some friends. It’s actually kind of ironic that I’m relating myself to Britney Spears right now because this morning I totally had an urge to watch Crossroads.