Dating During Adoption

I’ve been thinking a lot about love, lately. I think it has very little to do with the adoption, but probably a lot to do with the fact that I’m preparing my life and my home for a family; I’m settling down.

I don’t feel any pangs of regret or need to have the husband before I adopt. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. I think I’m just simply ready to find a long-term love. I’m finding my thoughts constantly wandering towards that warm, adoring, safe place that is being in love. It sure would be nice to have someone around to share my life with.

The timing is really unfortunate, because I can’t very well start dating right now. When would I possibly have the time to weed through potential mates? And what would I say to them about the adoption? Then there’s the more complicated matter of introducing them to the children. These kids are going to take a very long time to settle in and become comfortable and secure as a family, it wouldn’t be fair to throw an additional person into the mix, especially if that person was still a question mark in my mind. No, the whole idea seems out of place. Dating will have to wait.

I wonder then, how do the rest of the single mother’s go about dating? What will I be facing once my children are in a good enough place that I can put myself out there again? Is there ever a “good time” to add someone your family, and how do you go about doing it? Of course, my situation is unique so there will be differences, but there’s no point reinventing the wheel.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. ~Henry David Thoreau

I felt a great sense of accomplishment today as I registered for more university courses. I completed my first course last week and I’ll complete certificate one of two by mid-September. By the end of the year I’ll have both certificates resulting in the formal education I need to position myself for a leadership position at work. Yesterday, I got a phone call from someone at the adoption centre, to verify some information for my criminal record check. I’m hopeful that this means the intake worker is finally reviewing my application, after 9 weeks of waiting. Last month I looked at seven homes for sale, and I took the next step towards closing out my father’s estate. It feels great knowing that my plan is coming together. I tend to be great at the planning phase but not so good at the execution, but these are things I’m passionate about; things I really want.

Today one of my best friends received the key to her new home. This happened shortly after a long awaited career move. In September, my family will welcome the first baby of our generation (born to one of my cousins). My best friend is on her second career and her oldest son just got his learner’s license. A couple of my friends are getting divorced, and a lot more are showing their age on their faces. Seeing these milestones makes me really proud; proud of our accomplishments and proud of our mistakes. I’m proud that we’re doing the things we always dreamed of, and that things are panning out just as we’d always hoped and often felt neglected by. That girl who thought no one would ever love her has found the love of her life. That couple who worked so hard to buy a home finally has. That eighteen year old staring into the eyes of her newborn baby boy has raised him well.

It’s so great to see where we’re ending up, and the direction we’re building our lives.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. ~Henry David Thoreau

Here’s What I Expect From You

This post can also be permanently found on the new “Expectations of my Readers” page, which can be found in the top menu of my home page.

Here’s what I expect from you, as a reader of my blog:

Respect: Negative or derogatory comments will not be tolerated. This is a place where mutual respect is expected and anyone not willing to accept that will be blocked from commenting. That said, I love receiving comments from my readers, so please don’t be afraid to respectfully do so. I do my best to respond to all of the comments I’m left.

Understanding: I have been hesitant to share details of my romantic relationship with the blogsphere this time around. In the past I’ve done what most girls do and I’ve vented via my blog or to my friends about parts of my relationship that frustrate me, and it was sometimes received as though I wasn’t happy in my relationship(s). Please understand that what I write here is my story, version of events and feelings, being expressed my way due to past or present experiences. Every relationship has ups and downs, as well as strong and weak points. The main purpose of this blog is for me to work out those weak points and to share and learn so that I may become better at being someone’s significant other, and develop the strongest, healthiest relationship possible.

No Judgement: I do my best to live my life without judging others choices or life paths. I am not perfect at it. This is a difficult task and is something I consciously have to do every day. Trying to remember that we are all only human and a product of our environment, helps me to be compassionate to others and even to relate to them. I may not agree with the decisions of my friends or some of my fellow bloggers, but I respect them and I do my best to accept them as they are. Please make the same effort for me.

Communication: I love receiving comments and emails from my readers. I especially love to hear your stories and experiences, which might be similar to mine. If you’re not comfortable leaving a comment on my blog, please feel free to email me  directly at intriguemeblogs (at) gmail (dot) com.