I shared some information that I shouldn’t have. The person I shared it with then used that information to their advantage, in the process, making it obvious that I had shared the information in the first place.
As I lie here in bed wondering how I could have been so stupid, I realize that it is my faults that are also my biggest assets.
I am too trusting, I always have been; I want to believe the best of people and I can’t fathom how anyone could purposely hurt someone in order to benefit themselves. It’s this quality that gets me burned, time and time again, but it’s also this ability to trust that allows me to open my heart and let people in. It’s also the reason I’m an optimist and how I’ve won some big emotional battles.
I am mothering. I put myself into compromising positions because I believe someone else will benefit from my guidance and experience. Often this makes me vulnerable to being taken advantage of, but the same as being too trusting, this also has its upside. If I did not have that mothering/nurturing nature then I wouldn’t have the patience required to guide, teach or mentor as is my passion for helping people reach their full potential.
If I didn’t have these qualities then I wouldn’t be who I am, so in the end I suppose I’d rather be true to myself than change.
Every morning I get to work and read through the daily CNN reports while I drink my coffee. Each time I am reminded of how unbelievably privileged we are to live in a Country where we don’t have to struggle just to survive, but still, I take it for granted. A huge portion of the world’s population live in fear or turmoil. More still are missing out on food, shelter, a proper education and medical attention. Me, I have clothes, food, a job, a home and my family is safe. I hope that my family and friends also recognize how blessed we are to live our lives as we do. I hope that every person chooses to give back in some way, to whatever cause they are passionate about. Even a small financial donation, volunteering of time, or a simple act of kindness go a long way in changing lives.
When I started brainstorming for this post, I was certain it was going to be about the aspect of myself I wanted to improve throughout the course of next year. I was circling around the word “discipline”, something I greatly lack in my life, but creating discipline where there simply is none seemed like a mountain in front of me. I’m not really much into climbing mountains these days (if only I was more disciplined). Instead, I landed on the word “efficient”. Efficient as in, finding ways to work with my own personality traits – the ones I already have – to make my life as efficient as possible.
Heading into adoption this year, I know there will be plenty of opportunity to be self criticizing as I become overwhelmed with the new responsibilities in my life. There’s no need to start that now. I know that I am a good person with plenty of positive personality traits. I’m strong, I’m capable, I’m loving and compassionate. So what if I lack discipline or have a tendency to be a little irritable or lazy sometimes? I can work with those. I can set strategies in place that will help me to not become irritable, or to create an “out” when I need a lazy escape from the new day-to-day responsibilities. I can create efficiencies for a productive and happy life while still embracing all of my traits – the good, and the bad.