My ex always told me that I was a great girlfriend, but I guess a part of me always thought that if I was so good at it then why haven’t any of my relationships lasted?
I know the truth is that those men weren’t right for me and I’ve always preferred being alone to being with just anyone, but it’s hard for that self doubt not to creep in.
I’ve been spending a lot of time lately pondering exactly how to be a great girlfriend. Give him blow jobs, make sure he’s never hungry, don’t cut him off from his friends, be supportive, encouraging, and make him feel good about himself.
I practiced some of those things this weekend. No, not the blow jobs because I didn’t see him (and I don’t need the practice!). My honey had committed himself months ago to volunteering to cook for the Turkish festival this weekend. That meant he had only one day off last weekend, followed by three days of work this week and four full days with the festival. Throw his best friends engagement party into that and what you have is one very busy man.
I wanted to be a great girlfriend this week. I wanted to show him that I supported him and that I could be there to help him when he had too much on his plate, but I wasn’t sure what I could actually do.
I started by making the decision to put my own needs last by not asking when he would have time for me this weekend. That would have just added to his stress, and I knew there was simply no way he could have worked me in, especially since I’d decided not to go to his best friends engagement party (I didn’t want the pressure of meeting his “second family” in that sort of a setting).
Instead, I simply asked him if there was anything I could do to help him out. I didn’t really expect him to say yes, being as self sufficient as he is, but he did. He asked me if I would mind shopping for an engagement present for his best friend & his fiancé, since he wasn’t sure he’d find the time to do it. I agreed, and he was extremely grateful as it was a huge task off his plate. Besides, gift buying isn’t really a man’s forte.
So last week I stopped in at the Fairmont hotel chain and bought a gift certificate that they could use for their wedding night, a honeymoon, or any other night. Then this weekend I picked up a gorgeous crystal vase, and I put together a nice bouquet of flowers, and on Saturday I delivered them to my boyfriend before the party so he didn’t have to worry about picking anything up.
Tonight when the festival was over, I told him how proud I was of him for all of the work he’d put in, and I know he was glad to hear it.
They were small things I did this weekend, insignificant to me really, but I’m sure that they made a big difference for him. And honestly, I was happy to do it. It’s nice to know that I can be there for someone, and that it will be returned when I need it.
I think this weekend at least, I succeeded at being a good girlfriend.