Do you ever stop to think about all the people you’ve had in your life, people you bared your soul to, maybe even loved, and then lost contact with?
I remember the guy I was dating when the song by Gotye came out. His name was Brad. He turned out to be a drunk and it didn’t last for very long. Despite the short lived romance, we each put a decent amount of time and effort into getting to know one another. And that was just one guy! He was but a fragment of what I’ve put into getting to know new people. And now all they are, are people that I used to know. It really makes me think about how much of our lives we spend focusing our energies on people who at some point will no longer be a part of them. I don’t know that spending time on people is a bad thing; If we didn’t then we’d never have a chance at making new connections, romantic or otherwise… but I can’t help wondering what would happen if we put just half of that energy back into ourselves instead, because when I start adding up all of the people I “used to know”… it’s a really long list.
I shared some information that I shouldn’t have. The person I shared it with then used that information to their advantage, in the process, making it obvious that I had shared the information in the first place.
As I lie here in bed wondering how I could have been so stupid, I realize that it is my faults that are also my biggest assets.
I am too trusting, I always have been; I want to believe the best of people and I can’t fathom how anyone could purposely hurt someone in order to benefit themselves. It’s this quality that gets me burned, time and time again, but it’s also this ability to trust that allows me to open my heart and let people in. It’s also the reason I’m an optimist and how I’ve won some big emotional battles.
I am mothering. I put myself into compromising positions because I believe someone else will benefit from my guidance and experience. Often this makes me vulnerable to being taken advantage of, but the same as being too trusting, this also has its upside. If I did not have that mothering/nurturing nature then I wouldn’t have the patience required to guide, teach or mentor as is my passion for helping people reach their full potential.
If I didn’t have these qualities then I wouldn’t be who I am, so in the end I suppose I’d rather be true to myself than change.
In the spring of 2011 a plane touched down on North American soil, bringing with it a man I would soon come to discover was unlike any I’d ever met before. He was a man with a beautiful soul, a … Continue reading →