Home, Brother and Adoption Update

Ohhh emmm geeeee… I have been sooo busy!

Mom and I have been working tirelessly since I moved in, to renovate the main bathroom and get my bedroom painted. We were under a lot of pressure to get it done ASAP because the adoption worker was coming. It was a lot of late nights and early mornings. I actually bought myself a reciprocating saw and learned to cut drywall and plumbing. We moved the plumbing over to fit the new vanity, we built one vanity and then bought another one fully assembled when the first one fell apart. A stranger helped my brother haul all 300 pounds of it into the house and up the stairs because he was driving by and realized that mom and I are both completely useless (what a nice guy, huh!). We painted the bathroom. We replaced the mirror and got an awesome new light fixture. In the bedroom, we painted it one of the fifteen shades of navy blue I looked at, and shopped for new bedding and accessories. I ripped off the ugly arch thing from the front gate and we hauled it and a bunch of other stuff to the garbage dump. My brother tested out the fireplace (while he hacked my Netflix account – but at least he’s talking to me again) .

The fact my brother is talking to me again is worthy of its own paragraph here. He’s been (obviously) lonely at home with mom being here all of the time, so he’s been spending a lot of time here playing with the dogs, eating my food, and stealing my Netflix. He’s actually been really nice to me lately, it’s great to see his real personality coming back. When I asked him what was on his Christmas list, he actually gave me a thoughtful answer and then – wait for it – HE ASKED MEEEE WHAT I WANTED. That’s never happened before. Well, maybe once. (By the way – these hyphens are for you, Jo).

Anyways, back on topic. Yes, the house buying and house renovating and house unpacking has been a crazy busy month, but it’s done. Or done enough, anyway. It’s awesome to walk down the hallway without tripping over extension cords and ladders, and it’s so great to not have to brush my teeth in the kitchen sink anymore.

So what you’re actually wanting to hear about, my first appointment with the adoption worker was supposed to be yesterday, but we had a crazy blizzard so she had to cancel. Instead of rescheduling a million times through winter, she emailed me the next bunch of intrusive questionnaires and send me the training schedule which is the next step. Of course, I’ve already sent the paperwork back to her so I’m just waiting on the scheduler to call me back and let me know if the January dates are full or not. I sure hope they’re not, I don’t want to have to wait for February or March. I have to finish 5 full days of training (parental training, I assume) before we can move on to the next set of interviews (I believe that portion is formally called the “home study”). So that’s where that is.

Saturday is my BFF’s hubby’s 40th birthday so I’m flying out to Mount Washington for a couple of days. It also happens to be my own birthday on Saturday so it will be nice to get away for the weekend. Aside from that, I am very much looking forward to kicking back and enjoying my new house for a while.

A Melancholy Weekend Part II

I should take this opportunity to mention that we have been dancing around the topic of making our relationship more permanent. I haven’t blogged about this because I don’t want to provide an opening for anyone to think of him as an opportunist. I also don’t want to put a lot of pressure on the natural development of our relationship. The reality of the situation is that he’s not a permanent resident and his sponsorship fell through, meaning he’ll need to go back to Turkey at the end of August when his Visa expires… unless of course, he finds another sponsor, or we get married. At first I thought this would be no big deal, that he could go back to Turkey and apply for a new Visa, and be back here in a few months. But, that’s not the case since Turkey has a mandatory military service which he would have to complete upon returning. We would be looking at two years before he could make it back, and have you been reading my blog posts about this guy? Wouldn’t I be crazy to let someone this amazing walk out of my life like that? I think so, and so the idea of marriage has been in the back of my mind lately.

In an effort to take things as slow as possible between now and August, there’s been a lot of talking around marriage. I want to make sure that I’m confident in my decision if it comes down to that.  I’m analyzing every little piece of our relationship. I’m asking a lot of questions to make sure we’re fundamentally compatible and that we want the same things out of life. I’m making sure we both have the ability to compromise, and that my friends all get a good feeling from him. I want to know that both of our needs are acknowledged and met.

So, if it seems like what I’m writing about is jumping around right now, or that I’m really picking things apart… I am, and now you know why.

***

The end of our last conversation about his friends lead into another…

Near the end of the day yesterday we were becoming increasingly bored with the overcast weather and we contemplated heading back to his place, but we knew we wouldn’t be alone since his best friend, best friends fiancé, and his friend Can were there.

I hadn’t seen my new man since last weekend, and I desperately wanted to have a fun day just the two of us. I wanted to show him that it’s just as fun to hang out with me as it is to be with his friends… that was a major fail. I’m really bad at finding things to do when the weather is poor. I think I need to work on my “fun factor”.

Anyway… we wanted some privacy. We haven’t had sex in a week, and we wouldn’t have another opportunity for at least a week, possibly two.

I was saying that I really wished I wasn’t living with my mom right now so that we had someplace to be “intimate” and just alone. He took that opportunity to inform me that GF had “heard us” a couple of weeks ago when we thought they were sleeping. Oops. That definitely ruled out attempting to go back to his place.

But… what I didn’t really expect was when he said “I think we should get our own place”.

Somewhere earlier in the conversation it was mentioned that the boys would have to alter their living arrangements once BFF & GF are married… and of course, I know the idea of us getting married has been on both of our minds, but I was still really surprised when he brought up the idea of us living together. I guess that was probably his way of gauging my reaction, testing the waters for a bigger conversation.

What was more telling to me though, is that I didn’t even flinch. I just said “okay”. I didn’t get nervous, my heart didn’t skip, my stomach didn’t tense up. I was calm, I was collected, and I was completely at ease with the idea of sharing a life with him.

Why Vacation Was a Bust

My vacation started off fantastic. I picked up This Broken Heart Has Hope at the airport and the next day, along with my friend Wayne, we jetted off (aka drove) to British Columbia’s lake country.

The sun was shining, the company and conversation was fantastic (as was the music!), and we had three days sitting lakeside ahead of us.

When we found our campground and got set up, we didn’t waste any time before mixing up the sangria. (Remember, I had barely drank anything for weeks prior!)

The first day, the lake was fantastic. We read, we talked, we swam, we drank, we ate fresh Shuswap fruit, and the highlight: we had a visit from Msbrookie. It was relatively short as she was on her way home from her own family holiday, but it was the perfect change for me to catch up, and for TBH to meet, a fellow blogger.

That day of vacation was the best day. It was perfect.

The next day the clouds rolled in and with it came a light rain. It made the lake and the mountains look serene, but it was cool and sitting by the water wasn’t quite the same, so we decided to head home the next day, one day early.

The trip home was actually quite nice. Well, for me anyway. I was driving so I was spared from being stuffed into the back seat with all of our luggage. We stopped at two wineries on the way home and stocked up on wine (I bought two bottles of white, what’s up with that?!) and fresh fruit which I sliced up and froze when I got home (I’m so smaht).

The next day was when things broke for me. TBH and I had a day to ourselves to do whatever, but I couldn’t think of anything to do! I don’t live in an overly vibrant city and I now realize why none of my Vancouver friends ever come to visit me! We spent our day perusing a book store and having lunch with LS, one of my BFF’s, who’d wanted to meet TBH. It was a nice day, but I felt it left something to be desired, and I felt guilty I couldn’t think of anything more entertaining to do before TBH left.

The next morning, I awoke with a swollen throat, the beginning of what was to turn into a nasty cold which would last the remainder of my vacation. I dropped TBH off at the airport, and continued on to the ‘burbs to get a pedicure with LS and begin my six day stint babysitting her kids.

…and that was how I spend the rest of my vacation. Sick, unable to breath and constantly blowing my nose, whilst chasing after an energetic puppy and three-thankfully-well behaved children.

Needless to say, I am glad to be back home now. Back to my bed and my routine, and back to eating healthy. I didn’t eat very well while camping (FAIL!), it was like all of my plans completely abandoned me when vacation started… and I didn’t eat much other than granola bars and popsicles while I was sick.

But, there is one good thing to come from it. I lost weight! It was less than one pound (.6 lbs to be exact!) but it was enough to put me under my first mini-goal, a number I’ve been striving to see for weeks now.

Honestly, I’m just glad I didn’t GAIN weight on vacation!

And so… while my vacation was a whole was a bit of a bust, it started off with a bang and many highlights followed it up…

…the best of blogger friends, fine wine, fresh fruit, cold sangria, a pedicure, time with children I adore, and checking off a mini weight loss goal.