I’ve been thinking a lot about love, lately. I think it has very little to do with the adoption, but probably a lot to do with the fact that I’m preparing my life and my home for a family; I’m settling down.
I don’t feel any pangs of regret or need to have the husband before I adopt. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. I think I’m just simply ready to find a long-term love. I’m finding my thoughts constantly wandering towards that warm, adoring, safe place that is being in love. It sure would be nice to have someone around to share my life with.
The timing is really unfortunate, because I can’t very well start dating right now. When would I possibly have the time to weed through potential mates? And what would I say to them about the adoption? Then there’s the more complicated matter of introducing them to the children. These kids are going to take a very long time to settle in and become comfortable and secure as a family, it wouldn’t be fair to throw an additional person into the mix, especially if that person was still a question mark in my mind. No, the whole idea seems out of place. Dating will have to wait.
I wonder then, how do the rest of the single mother’s go about dating? What will I be facing once my children are in a good enough place that I can put myself out there again? Is there ever a “good time” to add someone your family, and how do you go about doing it? Of course, my situation is unique so there will be differences, but there’s no point reinventing the wheel.
I felt a great sense of accomplishment today as I registered for more university courses. I completed my first course last week and I’ll complete certificate one of two by mid-September. By the end of the year I’ll have both certificates resulting in the formal education I need to position myself for a leadership position at work. Yesterday, I got a phone call from someone at the adoption centre, to verify some information for my criminal record check. I’m hopeful that this means the intake worker is finally reviewing my application, after 9 weeks of waiting. Last month I looked at seven homes for sale, and I took the next step towards closing out my father’s estate. It feels great knowing that my plan is coming together. I tend to be great at the planning phase but not so good at the execution, but these are things I’m passionate about; things I really want.
Today one of my best friends received the key to her new home. This happened shortly after a long awaited career move. In September, my family will welcome the first baby of our generation (born to one of my cousins). My best friend is on her second career and her oldest son just got his learner’s license. A couple of my friends are getting divorced, and a lot more are showing their age on their faces. Seeing these milestones makes me really proud; proud of our accomplishments and proud of our mistakes. I’m proud that we’re doing the things we always dreamed of, and that things are panning out just as we’d always hoped and often felt neglected by. That girl who thought no one would ever love her has found the love of her life. That couple who worked so hard to buy a home finally has. That eighteen year old staring into the eyes of her newborn baby boy has raised him well.
It’s so great to see where we’re ending up, and the direction we’re building our lives.
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. ~Henry David Thoreau
In the spring of 2011 a plane touched down on North American soil, bringing with it a man I would soon come to discover was unlike any I’d ever met before. He was a man with a beautiful soul, a … Continue reading →