“I Drove My Car Off a Bridge”

Oh chill out, I didn’t drive my car off a bridge. This is a dating story.

That was in fact, the content of a text message I received from that guy I was seeing, after several days of being ignored because I let on that we needed to talk.

(Sidenote: Never tell a guy you want to “talk”. Everybody knows that. *d’oh*)

So like I was saying… we’d had this awkward conversation on our last date that lead to me wanting to break up with him, but he’d asked me to give him a couple of days to figure his stuff out, so I obliged. After a few days I texted him and said, “at some point this week we’re going to need to get together and discuss what was said on Friday”. I thought it only fair to break him the news in person in order to preserve any possibility of friendship with an otherwise decent guy, but he replied with “Damn. I knew this was going to be a rough week” and then proceeded to avoid having said conversation.

Alright, I’ll bite. You don’t want to actually have the “this isn’t going anywhere” conversation, I’ll move you into the friend category you’re so obviously dying to be in, and be done with it.

We had stopped talking for at least three or four days when this message popped up on my iPhone at 8am on a weekday:

“I was in a really bad car accident. My car went off a 40 foot bridge.”

So like anyone with a conscience I texted back to ask if he was okay, where he was, and if he needed anything. In the meantime I was racing off to a meeting and a colleague who was in my office ran back to her computer to see if there were any news reports about the accident. When I got back to my desk there was a link in my inbox to an article posted shortly before. Attached to the article was a picture of his completely mangled car.

“31-year-old man found in hospital with broken collarbone, two hours after his car was driven off a bridge. Alcohol is believed to be a factor.”

…and there it was. The cherry on top. “Alcohol is believed to be a factor.”

This guy wasn’t kidding when he said he had some shit to work out. I don’t think I knew the half of it.

That made things a little tough. Did I want to so much as maintain a friendship with someone who behaves in this manner? It was made worse when he tried downplaying it by telling me he’d “only had a few beers” (I know his idea of “a few beers). I definitely couldn’t be friends with someone who not only acted stupid but then made excuses for acting stupid.

Having a heart, I maintained my offer to stop by that afternoon to check in (he’d asked me to) but at the last minute he texted to tell me not to bother. He was grumpy and he didn’t want to see me so he was going to check in on the cat he was house sitting instead.

By this point, I’d spent the majority of my day worried about him, wondering why he chose to text me (looking back now, it was probably a mass text), and trying to clear my desk so I could get out early. I was more than annoyed, but I didn’t think it was appropriate to take it out on him in that condition, so I simply told him that I hoped he got better quick and that his friends could be there for him.

And then I unfriended him on Facebook. (DUN DUN DUN!)

(Sidenote: I guess he didn’t take kindly to the un-friending because he’s since blocked me all together.)

The End!