Do you ever stop to think about all the people you’ve had in your life, people you bared your soul to, maybe even loved, and then lost contact with?
I remember the guy I was dating when the song by Gotye came out. His name was Brad. He turned out to be a drunk and it didn’t last for very long. Despite the short lived romance, we each put a decent amount of time and effort into getting to know one another. And that was just one guy! He was but a fragment of what I’ve put into getting to know new people. And now all they are, are people that I used to know. It really makes me think about how much of our lives we spend focusing our energies on people who at some point will no longer be a part of them. I don’t know that spending time on people is a bad thing; If we didn’t then we’d never have a chance at making new connections, romantic or otherwise… but I can’t help wondering what would happen if we put just half of that energy back into ourselves instead, because when I start adding up all of the people I “used to know”… it’s a really long list.
This is the first picture I snapped of Snowy after I “inherited” him from my dad. We had just come out of the pet store where he got his own dog bed, a new collar and some treats to take to his new home. Today we had to put Snowy down because he had a cancerous lump in his neck that couldn’t be removed. He spent his last hour curled up with his momma. We’ll have him cremated and spread him with my dad in the mountains; my brother wanted that. I have promised him he’ll get a belly rub from grandpa when he gets to heaven.
When I started brainstorming for this post, I was certain it was going to be about the aspect of myself I wanted to improve throughout the course of next year. I was circling around the word “discipline”, something I greatly lack in my life, but creating discipline where there simply is none seemed like a mountain in front of me. I’m not really much into climbing mountains these days (if only I was more disciplined). Instead, I landed on the word “efficient”. Efficient as in, finding ways to work with my own personality traits – the ones I already have – to make my life as efficient as possible.
Heading into adoption this year, I know there will be plenty of opportunity to be self criticizing as I become overwhelmed with the new responsibilities in my life. There’s no need to start that now. I know that I am a good person with plenty of positive personality traits. I’m strong, I’m capable, I’m loving and compassionate. So what if I lack discipline or have a tendency to be a little irritable or lazy sometimes? I can work with those. I can set strategies in place that will help me to not become irritable, or to create an “out” when I need a lazy escape from the new day-to-day responsibilities. I can create efficiencies for a productive and happy life while still embracing all of my traits – the good, and the bad.