Dating During Adoption

I’ve been thinking a lot about love, lately. I think it has very little to do with the adoption, but probably a lot to do with the fact that I’m preparing my life and my home for a family; I’m settling down.

I don’t feel any pangs of regret or need to have the husband before I adopt. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. I think I’m just simply ready to find a long-term love. I’m finding my thoughts constantly wandering towards that warm, adoring, safe place that is being in love. It sure would be nice to have someone around to share my life with.

The timing is really unfortunate, because I can’t very well start dating right now. When would I possibly have the time to weed through potential mates? And what would I say to them about the adoption? Then there’s the more complicated matter of introducing them to the children. These kids are going to take a very long time to settle in and become comfortable and secure as a family, it wouldn’t be fair to throw an additional person into the mix, especially if that person was still a question mark in my mind. No, the whole idea seems out of place. Dating will have to wait.

I wonder then, how do the rest of the single mother’s go about dating? What will I be facing once my children are in a good enough place that I can put myself out there again? Is there ever a “good time” to add someone your family, and how do you go about doing it? Of course, my situation is unique so there will be differences, but there’s no point reinventing the wheel.

Damn Expensive Coffee

I’m in the best mood today! I had an aha! moment this morning… it was about understanding how the opposite sex show that they care. You know, you read it in all of the magazines: When a woman wants to show she cares, she tells him so. When a man wants to show he cares, he does something practical for her.

When The Italian and I were still in our fooling around stage, he was so frugal that I really thought that was going to be a deal breaker when we started dating. He made this comment about how he didn’t mind paying for dates but he didn’t want it to be expected (a fair stance for men, but he was pretty head-strong about it). He told me a story about a blind date who picked Starbucks as their meeting place, and he wanted her to pay for her own “damn expensive coffee” before he got there, so he waited for her to text and say “you’re late so I ordered” before he went in. The first time we had dinner together, he insisted that I pay. He did it jokingly and I knew it was a test, so I teased him for it, but I paid and I told him I was happy to do it.

Now when we go for dinner, he insists on paying. When he goes grocery shopping, he asks if I need anything. When a Chinook rolls through and the snow melts, he trades me car’s so that he can clean mine for me. I’ve never asked him to do any of those things.

And this morning… he surprised me with Starbucks.

P.S. I realize I haven’t been blogging about The Italian much… but sometimes it’s nice to just live it. If you want the day to day updates, you should really be following @IntrigueMe on Twitter.

P.P.S. Check out my recent interview on myTreat!

Truths about The Italian

Truths about The Italian:

1. I used to think he was a vampire.

2. He’s obsessed with making money and he’s also extremely frugal… and I mean extremely to the point of irritation (mine). He works 7 days a week just for the cash.

3. His accent is strong and I can’t understand half of what he says. This is probably why I like him, I only ever have to smile and nod.

4. He’s extremely critical of people, often arrogant, and sometimes flat out rude. He can also surprise me by being incredibly sweet. To be honest, I like that he can take my shit.

5. He’s even sexier than he used to be. This morning at breakfast (he finally took me on a “real date”-his idea-and he even paid) his arms and chest were nearly busting out of his shirt.

6. He’s funny! Usually it’s sarcasm or something awful he’s done to someone… but he makes me laugh regardless. I live in an area called “Huntington” and this morning he called it “Hung Ting Tang” because he didn’t recognize “Huntington” as being an english word. Maybe you had to be there.

7. He smells so good. He has a cologne “dealer”. WTF is a cologne dealer?

8. You probably wouldn’t like him.