The return of The Italian has been as much of a surprise to me as I’m sure it is for my long-time readers.
Here’s a quick re-cap for those of you who need it… The Italian and I met on Plenty of Fish about 3.5 years ago. We “dated” (we hung out which turned into making out, and sex once) a handful of times over the course of about a year. He had been in Canada for a year at that point (no I don’t have a thing for immigrants, this is a coincidence, and YES- he is a permanent resident now so no Visa issues) and he was very much the stereotypical charm-your-pants-off Italian that I’m sure you can imagine. He was constantly dishing out cheesy, over-the-top compliments and then retracting them with his harsh arrogance. To be honest, I thought he was a jerk who was just trying to get into my pants. He could come across as cocky and criticizing, but there was some good stuff there too (there must have been, or I wouldn’t have kept seeing him). Mostly though, I thought he was gorgeous and I couldn’t bring myself to perma-dump someone so sexy. And so, we strung it out off and on for a year before we both lost interest and drifted apart.
As you know, when I concluded that Y’s ignoring me had gone too far and I declared myself single again, I created a new POF account with the sole purpose of finding someone to flirt with and use to keep my mind off of Y. Well, I found it, but it was nothing like I’d expected. I was at my girlfriends place when my phone chirped with a notification I’d received a new email on POF. I clicked in to quickly read it while we were socializing and as soon as I saw his photo I burst out laughing. I explained our history to my girlfriend and told her that I was surprised he even remembered my name. I replied and we bantered back and forth for a bit before he asked for my number so we could text. I gave it to him. Why not?
In a matter of a couple days, The Italian and I had made plans to hook up. Yes- that kind of hooking up. What can I say? I was post-breakup heartbroken and I was horny. For the sake of keeping this post reasonable in length, I’ll skip the dirty details.
I didn’t really anticipate a second meeting, but during our first he actually seemed like a decent person, so I caved and accepted an invitation to his house a week later. After he insisted that I spend the night, we fooled around again and then went to sleep. The next day we decided to get together at his house once again, but when I got there he greeted me sweetly and made conversation while he tidied up his kitchen… then he told me to follow him upstairs, where he proceeded to snuggle me for the second straight night in a row. We didn’t have sex. The next morning when he left for work, he kissed me sweetly, brushed the hair out of my eyes, and told me to go back to sleep. A week after that, we got together for dinner before I left for vacation, but he was sick and so I sent him home to bed with some NyQuil and very strict instructions to get his rest. In a few days, we have plans to get together again.
Meanwhile, I’m noticing that his mannerisms are different than they were before. He’s treating me with respect, kindness, and *gasp*… affection! He’s not perfect, he’s still pretty cocky (admittedly), but he’s sending me sweet text messages, he’s asking me about my day, his compliments are genuine this time, he shows up when we make plans and he doesn’t blow me off. He asks for my advice, he tells me that he likes me and his actions back it up, and he offers to do nice things for me. He even offered to take care of my car while I was away on vacation, so that he could clean it for me. I declined of course, and instead we made plans for him to pick me up at the airport post-vacation, and when he was sent out of town to work for the weekend he said that he would drive two hours to the airport to pick me up, take me home, and then drive two hours back to work, all so that he could see me for the hour drive to take me home… because, get this, “he adores me”.
Saying that this came as a surprise is an understatement. I keep wondering to myself, “who is this man and what happened to the douchebag I used to date?”. In a fit of laughter yesterday, I told the friend I was visiting that I’ve had boyfriends turn into booty call’s but never booty call’s turn into boyfriends, and that is what he’s acting like!
All I can do is laugh and keep taking it in stride, remaining open to possibility but not so naive as to expect it. I don’t want a rebound boyfriend, but it sure is nice to have a crush.