What Did/Do You Love the Most?

I’m not great at relationships. I’m not terrible at them either.

I’d like to think that I’m considerate and caring, thoughtful and fairly easy going. But I know that my weakness is complacency. Unless something is brought directly to my attention, I can be pretty oblivious.

I’m worried that while I think I’m fulfilling girlfriendish obligations, I’m missing something important.

I know that no one is perfect and every relationship is different and yadda yadda, but what I’m asking here is very realistic…

Going forward, I want to look at my new relationship from all angles, and determine some areas where I could improve or perhaps hear some new things I’ve never even thought of before. I want to make sure that I’m building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship.

So tell me, what are some of the things you made a point of doing, or really appreciate your partner doing in either your past or current relationships?

Here’s some examples of the sorts of things I’m referring to (though there is no limit). Let me know what you think…

-Always Kissing each other goodbye

-Always saying “I love you” in the morning

-Making a point of setting aside at least ___ minutes at the end of each day to just talk

-Having sex __ times a week/month etc.

-Making sure you allow him adequate time with his friends every week (and vise versa)

-Trying not to text too much during the workday. Or the complete opposite, making a point of checking in to ask how his day is going

-Keeping an open dialogue about a certain topic (sex, love, dates, your in-laws)

Really, it can be anything at all. Anything that you feel is important in your relationships. Again, I’m just looking for ideas. We’re not all experts, but I’m sure every one of my readers has done something right in a relationship. Tell me what it was!

GO!

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9 thoughts on “What Did/Do You Love the Most?

  1. I think you have a really good list going. We keep a check on our sex life and checking in during the day is really important. There is always a good morning text and after lunch phone call. I think just hitting things dead on is really important too. As in, if there is an issue just say it. Not saying it makes it become a much bigger issue.

    • Thanks! My list was just examples, but some of those were important to me in past relationships.
      I definitely think that being straight up about issues is important!

  2. Communication was a huge one for me, and still is. I am SO much more verbal when something is bothering me or vice versa with him, and we just discuss it and get past it, rather than let it fester. Both of us fell into that in our past marriages so we don’t want to do that again. I also think little texts during the day are important, we do that a lot, as well as the I love you in the morning and night, and anytime really. And finally, I think eating dinner together, AT the table (most nights anyway) is incredibly important (ya know, if your work schedules jive and you can, when you are lving together etc), because it is far too easy to slide into eating dinner in front of the tv and what’s the point of that, when you are eating a meal with the one you love?

    • I think that eating dinner together is DEFINITELY something I would like to make a priority, if we ever get to a point where we’re living together. When I was growing up, we always ate at the kitchen table as a family, and I really miss that.

  3. After two marriages, I’d say I have learned the hard way. ;) 1. Hold each other up at all times – with honor, love, and respect. 2. Be able to reflect and acknowledge when you are wrong and say so asap. Humility goes a long way! 3. Communicate – this means communicating even when you want to shut the other person out. 4. Compromise. It’s not always about you and what you want when you want it. Be willing to be flexible. 5. Be leaders. Leadership in a relationship is HUGE. If you both act, speak and respond like leaders and with love you should be good to go! 6. MAKE time for just the two of you – no tv, no phones, etc. :) xoxo !

    • You rock for commenting, thank you! lol
      Your entire list is super important, I especially like your remark about being flexible. I always try to remember to pick my battles- I can’t have everything my way. I also am going to make a point of putting my phone away, and asking him to do the same, when we’re together. That is something we are both bad at right now and we need to make a point to change that. Thanks again!

  4. I’ve been thinking about this post a lot in the past few days. I have lots of recommendations that are just my opinion. I’ll try to write out an email…or maybe a blog post (gasp!). I think two really important ones are 1) Enjoy the relationship in the present and don’t get too wrapped up in dreaming about the future, 2) Try not to set your expectations too high or unrealistically. The boy is human and will inevitably disappoint you if you expect him to know exactly what you want or need. I know that last one sounds weird, but it has made for a much happier relationship for me. I hope you get a chance to see your man this weekend!

  5. I’ve tried not to sweat the small stuff with the man, but he’s taught me to share those little things with him. He believes that those little things can build up and it’s easier if it can be fixed asap. We’re also good about discussing not just what we feel and think, but how our past relationships/experiences have contributed to this viewpoint. (Ex. I’m okay not meeting your family until we’ve decided if we want to move in together, but if we reach that point, I would need to meet your family soon after that. I’m not trying to put pressure on you or give you an ultimatum, but in the past, guys have kept me at a distance. That’s an area of vulnerability for me.)

    • That’s really important to note, Stef. I think I’m trying to make an effort to discuss things with him but so far he hasn’t mentioned anything to me. I’m not sure though if he’s avoided bringing anything up or he’s just too laid back for the little stuff to bug him. Either way, I intend on having a conversation shortly about needs in a relationship… Find out what his are and let him know mine. Maybe today. :-)

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