Well friends, as you can tell from my last post, Christmas was a bit on the rough side. Truth be told, I was missing my Dad. The holiday was tougher to get through than I’d anticipated it being, and I think that caught me off guard. I’m looking forward to New Years Eve being a little bit better. This year I’ve opted to stay home with a bottle of wine and some good food, instead of going to a party with friends and pretending it isn’t awkward being the only single person there, like I do most years. This year I am intent on enjoying my own company, and perhaps a bubble bath.
NYE hasn’t always (ever) been a great holiday for me, but I still always look forward to this time of year. I’m one of those few people who actually loves change. I love fresh starts, new goals, and that feeling of accomplishment. I love dreaming of the year to come and all of the prospective opportunities. One of the things I’ve looked forward to the most over the last few years, is closing out my annual budget and coming up with a fresh one for the year ahead. I look forward to this so much, that I did my 2012 budget in October this year. I probably love doing this so much because for me, someone who didn’t come from money, I am proud of every financial accomplishment I’ve made. Going into 2012, I will be a long way from where I was over three years ago when I broke up with my ex and was left broke, jobless, and in debt. This year, my main goal is to pay off the remainder of my car loan. If I stay on track, then I can have this done by June and hopefully plan for some fun vacations and excursions throughout the remainder of the year. Hopefully even a special trip to see a dear Blogger friend get married! But before we get too far into next year’s goals, I want to take a look back at last year. This is what I wrote at the start of 2011:
Speaking of the new year… my goals going forward are simple, really… I need to take better care of myself in 2011. The last year was big for my career & finances, for sure… and I don’t suspect this year will be much different (though I do expect a promotion) but I need to make my health a priority now. I barely worked out in 2010, and that’s going to have to change. I only got a couple of massages, and I really should have been getting them monthly. My eating habits were poor at best, so this year I’ll have to make time to actually shop and cook… and lastly is sleep. I think I’ve finally overcome my insomnia so now I need to get back to a regular 8-hour sleep schedule and stick with it. (I need to take a lesson in routine from Jobo– sticking to a set schedule has never been my forte!). This year is going to be about balance, and health.
As for my attitude towards relationships this year, I don’t suspect it will change much. I’m still in no rush to jump into anything as I have other priorities right now. I’m remaining open-minded though.
Over the last month since my Dad died, I have gained back all but four pounds of the weight I’d worked so hard to lose. I started out by not eating much at all, because I had so much else on my mind I literally forgot until those hunger pains started. That was a good thing actually, because I was still eating when I was hungry but only then. But, once it was all said and done and I got home, I didn’t have the energy or the mental capacity to deal with shopping or cooking, so I’ve been eating out a lot. The holidays didn’t help at all. I also have stopped exercising pretty much all together, something I hope to resume tomorrow. I’m going to fix this going forward into the new year by participating in a 90 day challenge through a My Fitness Pal group. It’s my goal to be down 38lbs by the end of March. This should be reasonable as I think a lot of what I gained back over the past few weeks is in water weight. Last year I made some good progress with lifestyle changes and developing new habits. This year it’s time to really crack down and work harder to put those new habits to good use. I will not spend the remainder of my twenties as “the fat chick”.
My career and finances have gone mostly well this year. I continued to pay off a small amount of debt as well as maintain my regular bills. I didn’t get behind at all this year, and I even managed to squeeze in a couple of vacations, including my Wine tour/Vancouver Island/Seattle trip at the end of April, my camping trip with TBH in the summer, and my Vegas blogger meet up with TBH and Inris in October. Those vacations made the budget a little tight this year, but I managed, and it was worth it! As for my career, I did get a promotion in February but unfortunately I’m disappointed with the lack of compensation for it. In 2012 I will have to find a way to address that.
As for relationships, well I can tell you that if I’d been blogging about my current one over the last six months, I’m sure my blog hits would be through the roof… but it’s just one of those times when I feel as though I need to keep it to myself. It’s been complicated, but I can say with certainty that I’m completely in love, and regardless if it moves forward or not, I’m glad for the chance to get to know this person, because he’s amazing.
Going forward into 2012, there’s three more things I want to focus on.
The first is to continue to write, and to find a way to be able to write more, because I miss this.
The second is to focus on my friendships. I have the most amazing friends in the world (I know I say this all the time, but it’s because I mean it!). I don’t know what I’d have done over this past year without my BFF to support me through all of my up’s and down’s. She was the one I called when I found out my Dad died. She came and picked me up from a shoe store parking lot to give me a hug and take me home to my family. She gave my Dad’s eulogy when I wasn’t strong enough to, she did errands for me, and on my birthday when I’d lost the desire to celebrate, she made damn sure we did anyway. She has been there for me through every single big life event, and this year I’m going to make sure she knows how much I appreciate it. I also appreciate all of you, for your comments, your emails, and your Skype chats. Without you guys to listen to me whine, I probably would have lost my mind. Thank you to TBH for listening to me go on and on about my love life, for being an understanding and non-judgemental friend, and for tolerating my lengthy emails. I think we have enough material to fill a novel by now. Thank you to Shannon and Hardscape for the Skype calls and Twitter banter, to Inris for the late night Google Talks, to NYSoonerGirl for the ongoing Scrabble which provided the perfect distraction when I needed one, and thank you to all of you for simply reading with an open heart.
My last goal for 2012, is to find happiness again. 2009 and 2010 were such great years for me, I’m not sure 2011 could have possibly lived up to them, but in 2012 I’d like to try to get back to that place. I want to see less stress and more accomplishments. I’d like to get my confidence back, and work on letting go of some of those insecurities I’ve realized have been underneath the surface for the last few years. I think finishing off my Stories of the Ex series will help, as will simply relaxing.
Well that’s it, it’s pretty basic this year really, but certainly not small.
Happy New Year, friends… I’ll be thinking of you all when the clock strikes twelve. ;)