When you were a young girl, did you picture your future husband in your head? Did you make him out to be this entirely perfect hunk of a man who for some reason, you named “Steve”? (No? Was that just me?) Well this is a story about a guy who is perfect on paper. A story about a man with a great sense of humour, an impressive resume, a charming smile, and absolutely no romantic chemistry.
This is the story of Steve’s bananas, copied and pasted (mostly) from an email I sent a couple girlfriends the night after, of course.
So last night, I went out with Steve… this good looking, kind of quirky/nerdy 30 year old Petrophysicist. I thought maybe he was going to be a little boring, but he was actually quite funny, and we enjoyed ourselves enough, even though there didn’t seem to be any romantic “spark”.At the end of our date, the waitress brings over the credit/debit machine and hands it to him (yes, he graciously paid the bill, and yes I did offer first) and while she’s waiting for him to do his thing, she asks us “what are you guys up to tonight?” which is clearly a little awkward since this is a first date and “we” are not up to anything tonight.We looked at each other a little quizzical (and also a bit amused by this awkward situation), and then Steve tells her,“Well, I was going to go buy some bananas”.The waitress and I both burst out laughing at this random piece of information, as Steve turns a little pink in the cheeks and starts chuckling himself.We didn’t leave right away, so that gave me plenty of time to crack banana related jokes.I told him that he should make his new profile photo on OKStupid a shot of his new bananas. And, before we parted ways in the parking lot, I joked that I was looking forward to seeing his new picture.I thought maybe…. maybe… if he actually did it, he’d pull a photo off of Google.Sure enough though, this morning rolls around, and I notice on my blackberry I have an email from Steve on OKCupid. It says, “Just FYI- I posted a new photo!” (he did this at 9:30 in the morning, by the way!).I click to his profile and I find a photo of him, bed head and all, sitting at his kitchen table, with his arm around a bunch of bananas.It has the following caption:“Hair looking a touch messy, but I am clearly very excited about eating bananas for breakfast.”
And that is the story of Steve and his bananas. I wish I could share the photo with you here, as it really does make it or break it.