First of all, my apologies to all who got a million and one email subscription messages last night. If you recall, I had for a short time made all of my previous posts private, and I felt that it was time to make them public again. In doing so, I did not realize that WordPress would treat each post as a new post and send notifications out. Truly, I am sorry for the irritation.


So I’ve realized just now that I can be a little lot snobbish when it comes to men hitting on me. (Huh, I can’t possibly understand why I’m single then!)

On my walk home from work today, a very attractive black man started a conversation with me. I had my iPod in so I tried to just smile back and put my hand to my ear to subtly signal that I wasn’t interested in conversing, but he carried on anyway. I state now that when men hit on me in public, I tend to put my guard up a little bit, it’s just nerves is all… but it comes across a little harsh. Anyways, in my own defence, this guy was asking me some questions I wasn’t really comfortable answering. Like, “where do you work?” and “where do you live?”. I have no doubt he was just trying to make conversation but it made me feel uneasy, so I answered vaguely with “downtown” and “oh just over there”. He even asked me what I was up to this evening (“My brother is coming over for dinner. He lives out of town.” WTF??). I tried walking faster, walking slower, crossing the street, and putting my headphones back in between responses, but he stayed at my pace to continue chatting. When it started to get awkward he asked me if I had a business card, “not on me, sorry”, and then he offered to give me his number instead.

This is the part that makes me face-palm myself. My response was to smile politely and say “I don’t think my boyfriend would like that very much”.

D’oh! Is that the best you could come up with? A straight out lie?


When I got home, I had some notifications of “new mail” on Plenty of Bastards… so I logged in to read them. In one of them a guy was asking if we could chat on the phone sometime (this is a guy who has insisted on repeatedly sending me the most stale messages in the history of messages, on and off for weeks) and I politely told him I didn’t think we’d be a romantic match.

At least that time I was honest.


After responding to the email, I got an instant message from another guy, one who’d messaged me a week or so ago and whom I found to be very aggressive. He asked me what I was doing tonight and I told him I had some things to do at home. Then he asked if I wanted to get together and I reinforced the fact that I already had plans.

I felt like a complete bitch.


These three instances (all in a matter of a half hour!) have left me wondering….

How do you tell someone you’re not interested without sounding like a complete snob?

And, am I a snob?

Probably… I do have very high expectations both physically and personality wise, and while I don’t attract the kind of guys I would be interested in, I still want what I want.

(So, aside from the fact I’m completely vain and far too interested in appearance… )

Ladies, how do you gently turn guys down?

And guys, what is the best way for a girl to tell you she’s not interested?

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11 thoughts on “Snobbish

  1. Plenty of bastards? Interesting choice in words… glad to see you’re back… I hope you value a few of us bastards since I smiled when i saw intrigue me back on the scope…


  2. You are not snobbish! I think turning anyone down is always tough and you always feel bad because it feels shitty when it’s you being rejected, but you aren’t letting them down meanly. Now, if you’d gone out with them, then lied as to why you didn’t wanna go out again, maybe that would be different. I personally prefer honestly there, but everyone has their own approach. Youre doing just fine ;) (and srsly weird guy hitting on you on the street? Weird!!)

  3. Oh, how I’ve missed your posts! I don’t think it’s snobbish to have standards. We’re all entitled. And, the attractive black man clearly didn’t read your signals.

    In my early-mid 20s, I definitely would fib or say something rude to a guy. Now, I’m honest:

    I’m sorry. I’m not interested in dating right now/I’m just here with my girlfriends tonight/I’m not interested.

    A guy might ask again, but by the second time I say it, the guy tends to get the point.

  4. You’re not a snob. My guess is that if someone you were truly interested in did any one of those things, you would be more than agreeable!

  5. haha.. too good.. well, I think most of us girls do this.. I know I do.

    Well, its not that we don’t boys/men around, just the way they come around gets to much to handle. Even i can’t stand such interferance..and i feel boys/men like these, too interfering ones, they simply don’t understand ‘No’ until its said with a frown and i-will-slap-literally-you expression!

    reminded me of all the times i’ve been similarly rude!! :)

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