After making public the other day, my desire to possibly start dating again, I made the grande gesture of creating a new dating profile… on Lavalife.
It didn’t take long for me to be reminded why I disliked the site several years ago when I last used it. First, most of the men on there are older- like a lot older. Second, the number who sent cross-the-line racy instant messages was astounding. I’ve already blocked half a dozen pervy old men. Third, they have three sections where you can have a profile. The system defaults you into both the “dating” and “realtionship” sections, but you have the option of creating a third profile in the “intimate” section. Not that there’s anything wrong with this, but I recall in the past being tempted to find out if guys I was talking to in the other sections also had an “intimate” profile, and I really don’t need to know about that sort of thing.
So, basically Lavalife has been a dud so far… except for one potential.
Newfie sent me an instant message before I’d even finished filling out my profile, and after a brief conversation online I was interested. He’s my age, good looking, has a good job, owns his own home with his brother, and seems to be very well mannered. After our conversation he asked if we could talk again sometime, and he offered up his phone number so that we didn’t have to worry about trying to link up on Lavalife again. The next day I threw the ball back in his court by texting him with my number and my Blackberry pin and telling him to get in touch whenever he’d like.
He has, every day since then. Mostly we’ve had conversations via Blackberry Messenger but after the first conversation via that means, he asked if he could call me sometime, which he did the next night.
Sidenote: Let me tell you this, the reason the world thinks we Canadians pronounce “about” like “aboot” is because of Newfoundlanders. They have the strangest accents. (Newfie is originally from Newfoundland, obviously.)
Conversations have been good, but so far he has yet to ask me out. He seems eager to talk to me, so I’m hoping he’s only holding out because I had told him about my busy weekend and he’s working nightshifts this week, but time will tell.
So, here’s a bit of a snag… or maybe, you can tell me if you think this is a snag or not.
In our first telephone conversation, Newfie asked me when my last relationship was and I was honest without giving too much detail. Of course, even though I didn’t really want to know so soon, I asked him the same. His last relationship lasted seven months and ended just one month ago. He said that it was not a dramatic finish, but she wanted an engagement ring and he was not (for whatever reason) willing to give it to her. Apparenly she was mad when he saved up for a new stereo system instead of the ring. He was honest with me and said that while he wants to be with someone, he’s only twenty-five and he doesn’t want to get married just yet (fair enough).
It didn’t seem to me, listening to him talk about it, that he’s hung up on her or that relationship, and when I asked point-blank if there was any drama left there, he assured me there was not, and so I didn’t concern myself with it. Seven months doesn’t seem to me like a long enough relationship to get worked up about (though I do wonder if it was actually serious or if she just wanted a ring).
That was the last of the relationship talk until yesterday (and that previous conversation was surprisingly brief considering how much I just told you). Last night I got a message from Newfie asking me how my weekend had been, and he mentioned he was heading to his uncles for a BBQ and a couple of beers. A few hours later I got another message asking me if he could call, because he needed someone to talk to. I hesitated, but said sure.
He was at a bar (a restauraunt-lounge kind of place) watching the hockey game by himself when he called. I’m suspecting he’d had a couple of beers because why else would he have called about such a topic, but he didn’t sound drunk- just to be clear. He told me that when his girlfriend left, she did it during the day while he was at work, and she took all of their furniture with her (so they were living together, then?). He said he thought that was harsh, but he didn’t fight her on it. Then, she got in touch with him recently and said she felt bad for taking all of the furniture and he could come and get some of it, but when he called her to make arrangements yesterday she said the phone line was fuzzy and hung up. Long story short, he doesn’t think he’ll get any of it back and is thinking about cutting his losses and shopping for some new furniture today. He said he was stressed about it but he didn’t really seem dramatic about it. Then, he said “I probably shouldn’t have called you about this, hey? I guess I just needed to talk it out and thought of you”.
So what I’m wondering is, is it really that simple, that he had a couple of beers and just wanted to talk… or should I beware of some lingering situation? (For the record: My gut is actually, for once, telling me not to worry about it.)