“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.” -Oscar Wild

“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.” -Oscar Wilde

It’s true, isn’t it? Provide someone with a mask of anonymity and it is amazing what they’ll tell you. We speak more freely when under the invisibility cloak of our username’s because there are no judgements for our words based on preconceptions about who we are. For this reason, we are able to divulge the most intimate details of our lives, and our most secretive thoughts. We have the ability to put ourselves out there and attract back people we can relate to, people who understand us at our core.

I am madly in love with this secret world of mine, because here I am free to be myself. I am free to express my thoughts and opinions without worrying about people who think they know me drawing incorrect conclusions.

You see, the irony between this secret online world and the “real world” is that the ones who truly know me are you, those of you who I choose to let into my head, and my heart. In this new age of always being connected by things like text messaging and Facebook, we’ve actually disconnected with one another. We spend so much time talking but no time really talking. It’s amazing how technology can both bring us so close together and yet push us so far apart.

As I’ve branched out into the bloggerverse, I feel as though I’ve lost some direction. I had lost my passion for expression, or maybe it was that I had nothing to passionately express. Perhaps it was that I simply couldn’t articulate my thoughts. I think they usually call that writer’s block, but in this case we’ll call it bloggers block.

That’s not entirely it, though. The honest truth is that it was a combination of that, and this: The more (incredible, amazing, fan-fucking-tastic) friends I’ve made through this wordy place, the more hesitant I am to write what it is I’m here to write. I’m afraid of offending someone or making a fool of myself by saying something stupid, afraid you’ll think differently of me. And, my fears are not completely unfounded. As you grow to respect and develop friendships with people, you start to care what they think of you and your decisions, and you start to care more about their decisions because you care about them, and so this world of blogging is a catch-22. We are anonymous until suddenly, we are not.

And so, I’ve decided to solve the problematic lack of passionate expression by starting a new, private blog, meant for those specific topics that I don’t want to post here. I’m still going to maintain Quarter For Her Thoughts, don’t worry about that. I’m just going to have this other place, sort of to myself.

Now, don’t go thinking that anyone has said anything to offend me, or that there’s anything I want to say about any of you- because that’s simply untrue. There are just so many eyes here, not just blog friends but real life friends and others whom I want to maintain a little more privacy from. I feel as though I’ve gotten a little lax with my anonymity and I want to have a bit more control over what I put out into the World Wide Web. That has more to do with it than anything.

All of that said, I may at some point allow some of you to read this separate blog. So, if you would like access, then please email me at intriguemeblogs@gmail.com (or comment here) with your WordPress username and when -and if- I’m ready to allow readers, I will let you know.

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21 thoughts on ““Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.” -Oscar Wild

  1. How interesting. This reminds me of my commenting crisis a few months back. I pretty much freaked out. And as it turns out, in my case, it was an unfounded freakout and I just let myself get the best of me, and now I am back to normal and happily blogging again.

    But you know, I totally get it. I do. After awhile, I got so worried about what all my new blog friends would think of me or judge me about that it was crippling. I’m just glad that I got over it, and I’m not even sure how. I guess I just rode the wave and kept posting until I didn’t feel so sensitive anymore.

    But I digress. You know I’d love to read your private blog if and when you invite readers. You know where to find me girl!!! And for the record, I agree with you about being more real in the blog world than in real life. I do the same thing. Anyone who reads my blog, reads my innermost thoughts. Anyone on facebook reads my happy birthday messages and the occasional quote and that’s it. In many ways, my blog friends know more than most family and friends do.

    • I think it’s a bit different, as I have not been offended or taken any comments personally whatsoever, it’s just that I’m hesitant to blog about certain subjects in the first place. Regardless, though… I think that once I get back on track by using my private blog, I’ll be able to come back to this one and be more honest here, too.

      • Yup, totally. I wasn’t saying your experience was the same, only saying that what you wrote reminded me of my own struggle with blogging. And for me too, it wasn’t even so much about being offended by comments, it was feeling like my writing had to please the people reading and feeling guilty when it didn’t. Good luck with the new writing project! Sometimes we just need to try something new.

  2. I understand 100%. I almost didn’t post my last post for the same reason. I hope when you do get it up (that’s what she said) that you’ll let me read. I’ll understand if you won’t though.

    • Yeah, I totally get what you mean with your last post. Some people could have vastly different views (and do), and you don’t want them to think differently of you because of yours, even if the issue is not them losing respect. (That’s what I think anyway, but for the record- I agree with your views on that post as I do on most!)

  3. I struggled with this same thing after coming back from BISC. I would love to be a part of your new blog but totally respect your wishes if you don’t want to share:)

    • Yeah, I hope you don’t think it has to do with meeting bloggers IRL though- this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while, for other reasons.

  4. I get you I do. I just a traditional journal for such things. I use it in varying degrees of frequency depending on what is going on in my life.

    I have a few people from my real life that read my blog. One would be totally understanding about whatever I wrote. We discuss my posts often. You are aware that the two that aren’t understanding are no longer in my life.

    I’m not sure it’s so much that I’m afraid of what people would think about what I’m writing in my journal but that what I write there isn’t normally in coherent thoughts. It just emotions, pure unfettered emotions, pouring across the page. It’s things that I need to work out. And some of the things I write aren’t nice and reading them later I wonder at times how I felt that way about something.

    If at some point you want others to read your blog, I’d love to see more of you. I like you.

    • I used to journal but I like for things to be pretty and tidy and I have messy handwriting so that was a no-go. Haha.

      Everyone who has read my blog has been understanding- for the most part- it’s just in my head. I worry.

  5. I had a similar freakout when I began sharing my blog here with other people. I have a journal where I write my most private things and try to keep my posts topical or only share certain things, as I know many people I know IRL read my blog, as well as those I don’t know well who follow my twitter or Facebook. I had someone take something I’d written and twist it and make it into something else, sharing it with my boyfriend and others warped and out of context. That hurt a lot. So I don’t write as personal there anymore. It’s sad, because I enjoyed being able to be free with my thoughts that way. Hopefully that doesn’t happen with you.

    Good luck with your more private space. I look forward to reading more on Quarter for Her Thoughts. :-)

    • Ugh- that is exactly why I have been super selective about who I share it with… because the last thing I need is someone IRL getting all mad at me for something I said that they take the wrong way or want to twist around. UGH.

  6. I’ve been “anonymous” the entire time I’ve blogged. I totally get it. People wonder why I don’t come out and just own up to the blog, but it’s exactly what you’ve described. I’m much more likely to divulge all the things I want to write about “hiding behind the mask.” Yet I’m not completely anonymous, because I’ll add bloggers to my facebook, close friends read and when I meet up with blogger friends IRL- there are pics of me on their blogs. So I don’t always think I’m as anonymous as I would hope I am. I’ve definitely thought of doing the private blog thing too. I’d be interested in reading if you go more public with it :)

  7. so well put! I totally get this too since some of my IRL friends read my blog too and all of you bloggy loves read too and since I feel like I know you as friends now, it does make it harder. But I think you will re-adjust to that as your new reality sets in…knowing more of us IRL than just bloggy world. Ya know? But I also understand why you want to start the private blog, but please do include me dear…i hope! :)

  8. Well, I want access :) Or not…it’s totally up to you of course. I do get it. I went he anonymous route at first but then owned the blog. I don’t tell everyone all the time, but any one who wants to find me can. It’s why I can’t tell all of you all the horrible things happening at work on a daily basis…I don’t want to lose my job…but I do think if you create a blog–and try to be anonymous even–there is always the chance of someone finding you out…it’s just that nothing you put online is every *really* anonymous. But I completely understand why you’d do this…here any time (over email if you’d rather) to chat ya! You have both my personal email & soccermom’s :)

  9. Pingback: Freestyle Friday: News & Reviews Edition « Indigo Moods

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