A Hot Bath

I decided I was going to have a “me” night, tonight. I’ve been wanting needing one for a while and tonight was my only free night to do it.

So, I left work just a little bit later than normal (instead of a lot more), I came home, I had dinner while I read a couple of blogs and watched TV, and then I tossed some salts into a hot bath and had a good soak. I had intended to start this new book I bought a month or two back, but by the time I got into the tub, the last thing I wanted to do was read. I read all day… emails, files, documents, blogs, newspapers, Facebook, Twitter. Instead, I closed my eyes, let my body relax, and I let my mind wander…

***

What will improve in my life after I’ve lost weight?

1) Shopping. I can buy all the most stylish clothes and they’ll actually look good on my body

2) More energy

3) I’ll probably sleep better

4) I’ll want to put more effort into my appearance (on a more regular basis). I like to get glammed up now, but even when I feel like a million bucks, I see myself in a photo afterwards and I just want to cry

5) More photogenic!

6) I won’t have to spend money on extenders for my jewelry because my wrist is just a little too thick for that fabulous new bracelet

7) I’ll feel great! My body won’t feel weighed down by the food I’m putting into it or the lack of exercise

8 ) Less body pain

9) Probably less migraines, except for the ones caused by the weather changes here in the rocky mountains (chinook-head as we call it)

10) My “beastly calves” (as my brother so kindly calls them) won’t have so much to lug around, but all the muscle from lugging me around will instead be able to carry my new body to all sorts of fantastic places…

11) I’ll be able to see more of the world, because I’ll have more energy & stamina

12) I’ll find out what this pretty face looks like without all that extra pudge

13) My dating pool will open up. I can start dating guys who I actually want to date

14) More sex

15) Better sex

16) More comfortable in my own skin (literally)

17) I can have my confidence back

18) I can relax and let my personality show through without wanting to remain invisible in a crowd

19) If I choose to have kids someday, I’ll be better equipped to both keep up with them, and be a better role model

20) I can play sports again!

21) I won’t cringe every time I look in the mirror

22) I won’t have to deal with everyone sticking their nose in my business because they want to “help” (I’m not stupid, I’m fat!)

23) Breaking through my weight might give me the confidence to explore other passions (career, hobbies, etc).

***

What aspects of my life will be worse off if I lose weight?

1) I’m going to go broke purchasing a new wardrobe.

***

SoccerMom wrote a post today about feeling depleted and she mentioned that her husband is worried about her. I wonder if I had a husband, if he would be worried about all the ways I’m over-extending myself right now. As it stands, nobody notices when I don’t come home from work until 9pm, when I’m so tired I have a meltdown, or how much I’m stressing about whatever’s on my mind. It might be nice to have someone to worry. Then again, it might also be a huge pain in the rear.

***

I have got to stop stressing over things that are beyond my control, or things that just shouldn’t be stressed over… I have to stop letting my anxiety be a trigger for stress… and I need to find a way to loosen up and not take things personally.

***

I have got to figure out if I really want to buy a house, or if that desire has always stemmed from my anxiety and my need to feel secure in my surroundings. Maybe I should be focusing my extra cash on saving up to do some travelling instead.

***

I’m going to try and get to sleep a little earlier tonight.

***

THE END.

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16 thoughts on “A Hot Bath

  1. What a good way of capturing your thoughts – in a bath and then posting them as a blog. hopefully it was a good release for you, to get some of this out. I think that you are stretching yourself thin, as SoccerMom is, and taking a step back to see that and hopefully find little ways to help reduce that where you can, will do you wonders. You are so driven and a do-er though, that I have a feeling that will be tough for you. Just know that you are doing a lot of things so well, that it’s okay sometimes to just do some things ‘okay’ to help self-preserve a bit and get through. Know what I mean? XO.

    • Thanks Jo ;) I’m definitely going to take some time to just do things “okay” without feeling guilty for it. I don’t need to strive for perfection or be an over-acheiver all the time.

  2. Sounds like you’ve spent some time in the same tub as I have. I can relate to nearly everything on your “What Will Improve After Losing Weight” list. I’m in the same boat. I should print it and hang it up on my mirror for when I’m talking myself out of working out. It would also be lovely to have someone to see how stressed out life can make you and to actually care…although, I would add the caveat they have to be willing and able to do something to relieve some of that stress…even if it’s just good sex or washing the dishes ;-) I’m told that working out helps to relieve stress, and after four outside jogging/walking sessions, my results have been mixed. Talking/blogging about it usually helps, though. I enjoyed this post immensely

    • Thanks for your understanding, and if it inspires you to print it out and put it on your mirror- then by all means, you do that!! Good luck in your journeys as well :)

  3. I’m with Jobo, you are stretching youself thin. I think you need more of these nights to yourself though….don’t forget the part where you breathe:)

  4. Having owned a house I can honestly say that I don’t know if I would do it again – or in the near future at least. It certainly is a commitment and a sacrifice. I want to travel, I like buying new things and I also like having money in the bank – things that are a little harder to do with a mortgage.

  5. Coupla things…I want a hot bath too!!!! Not with you though, that would be weird. I’ll run my own bath tonight maybe. I’ll also pour myself a glass of wine. Sounds heavenly.

    I don’t know I want to be a homeowner yet either. At least not right now. I kind of like having the freedom of being able to pick up and leave whenever I want. Plus all the extra costs associated with it would suck. And I couldn’t just call Emilio (the building handyman) anymore whenever the bar full of clothes in my closet falls on my head.

    I have a not so juicy confession. I have actually resisted losing weight before because I don’t want to buy new clothes. It’s expensive, yo! Plus I really like a lot of the things I have. I’m there right now. I should lose some weight per my doctor, but I kind of don’t want to.

    I really liked reading this post. It was very insightful. I hope you feel better soon. I get the depleted thing although I’m probably not as bad as you. At the end of the day it’s so hard to do things on my computer. But I will get to see you soon and that’s gonna be awesome!!!!

    • LOL! Yeah, bathing together might be a tad inappropriate…. and weird. But, feel free to have one of your own! lol

      New clothes are expensive! Though, I’m not really worried about it… I’m excited! I can’t wait to shop, shop, shop!

      Can’t wait to see you in a month! I’m really getting excited for it!

  6. Those are definitely all the same reasons why i’m trying to lose weight. I’m working with a wellness coach right now and he asked me why I wanted to lose weight and honestly- I said so I can look better. That sounds materialistic, but I think it incorporates all those healthy aspects of it too. And hello confidence! Looking better brings out my confidence for sure. In just the few weeks I’ve been working out, I can tell a difference! Good luck on your journey and hit me up if you need support!

    • Haha, I think we are all allowed to be a little vain. Why not? I just want to showcase my inner fabulous, on the outside! lol

      Good luck in your journey as well, and I really appreciate your support- right now I have so much on the go that I’m having a hard time making weight loss a priority. This is a continuous problem, and something I have to work on definitely. Hey, let me know if you ever want to do a guest post about it!

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