I decided I was going to have a “me” night, tonight. I’ve been
wanting needing one for a while and tonight was my only free night to do it.
So, I left work just a little bit later than normal (instead of a lot more), I came home, I had dinner while I read a couple of blogs and watched TV, and then I tossed some salts into a hot bath and had a good soak. I had intended to start this new book I bought a month or two back, but by the time I got into the tub, the last thing I wanted to do was read. I read all day… emails, files, documents, blogs, newspapers, Facebook, Twitter. Instead, I closed my eyes, let my body relax, and I let my mind wander…
What will improve in my life after I’ve lost weight?
1) Shopping. I can buy all the most stylish clothes and they’ll actually look good on my body
2) More energy
3) I’ll probably sleep better
4) I’ll want to put more effort into my appearance (on a more regular basis). I like to get glammed up now, but even when I feel like a million bucks, I see myself in a photo afterwards and I just want to cry
5) More photogenic!
6) I won’t have to spend money on extenders for my jewelry because my wrist is just a little too thick for that fabulous new bracelet
7) I’ll feel great! My body won’t feel weighed down by the food I’m putting into it or the lack of exercise
8 ) Less body pain
9) Probably less migraines, except for the ones caused by the weather changes here in the rocky mountains (chinook-head as we call it)
10) My “beastly calves” (as my brother so kindly calls them) won’t have so much to lug around, but all the muscle from lugging me around will instead be able to carry my new body to all sorts of fantastic places…
11) I’ll be able to see more of the world, because I’ll have more energy & stamina
12) I’ll find out what this pretty face looks like without all that extra pudge
13) My dating pool will open up. I can start dating guys who I actually want to date
14) More sex
15) Better sex
16) More comfortable in my own skin (literally)
17) I can have my confidence back
18) I can relax and let my personality show through without wanting to remain invisible in a crowd
19) If I choose to have kids someday, I’ll be better equipped to both keep up with them, and be a better role model
20) I can play sports again!
21) I won’t cringe every time I look in the mirror
22) I won’t have to deal with everyone sticking their nose in my business because they want to “help” (I’m not stupid, I’m fat!)
23) Breaking through my weight might give me the confidence to explore other passions (career, hobbies, etc).
What aspects of my life will be worse off if I lose weight?
1) I’m going to go broke purchasing a new wardrobe.
SoccerMom wrote a post today about feeling depleted and she mentioned that her husband is worried about her. I wonder if I had a husband, if he would be worried about all the ways I’m over-extending myself right now. As it stands, nobody notices when I don’t come home from work until 9pm, when I’m so tired I have a meltdown, or how much I’m stressing about whatever’s on my mind. It might be nice to have someone to worry. Then again, it might also be a huge pain in the rear.
I have got to stop stressing over things that are beyond my control, or things that just shouldn’t be stressed over… I have to stop letting my anxiety be a trigger for stress… and I need to find a way to loosen up and not take things personally.
I have got to figure out if I really want to buy a house, or if that desire has always stemmed from my anxiety and my need to feel secure in my surroundings. Maybe I should be focusing my extra cash on saving up to do some travelling instead.
I’m going to try and get to sleep a little earlier tonight.