Featured Post (November 2010): Dating Downers

Since I have re-entered the dating scene (for now, at least) I thought I’d put out into the universe a few of my dating downers. These things drive me batty when I’m dating a new guy…

1) Over-eagerness: Yeah I know, I’m like a man sometimes but it really weirds me out when someone I’ve only been out with a time or two suddenly gets really clingy and/or over-eager. Sometimes even women get bored when the catch is too easy, but more than that it’s hard to tell when a guy is genuinely into me if he was too attached right from the start. I’m a realist here, so if you’re all candy and flowers and non-stop text messages with me right off the bat, I’m going to start wondering if you’re a monogamy whore.

2) Asking sexual questions: Okay, here’s the thing, after a certain amount of communication sexual innuendos are bound to come up… but there is a line. Making a slight reference to something a little sexually flirtatious can be acceptable depending on the circumstances, but taking it past that in the initial phases of dating is just gross. I’ve had guys ask me my bra size, what positions I like best, and how often I like to have sex (those are just a few examples). If I’ve only gone out with you once or twice, or worse if I haven’t even met you yet, these questions are straight up inappropriate, and I’m questioning your intentions.

3) Vague answers: What do you do when you’re trying to get to know someone? Ask questions. What do you do when you’re trying to find something interesting to spur further conversations? Ask questions. What then puts a complete stop to both of these processes? Vague answers. I’m not asking a guy for his life story but the point of dating is to get to know someone and it drives me crazy when I get non-answers. I know people don’t like to put it all out there on the first few dates, but come on, give a girl something to work with!

4) Quit being lazy and come to my door: If the arrangement dictates that you’re picking me up for our date, please don’t text me from your car saying you’re outside, then sit in the car waiting for me. At the very least, wait for me at the exterior door to my building or get out of your car so we can greet each other properly. The whole car-hug thing is really awkward… not to mention (my douchebag date did this, for example) walking to an unfamiliar vehicle and getting in to meet its driver for the very first time (provided it’s a first date).

5) The bachelor pad: Come on boys, it’s time to grow up. Take down the beer can pyramid and nude calendars (those are meant for the garage), wipe the whiskers off the bathroom counter, toss out the old futon and buy yourself a real couch. Unless you’re still in college, it’s time to start living like an adult, and nothing is more unattractive to me than walking into the apartment of a grown man and being afraid to take off my shoes.

6) Asking to kiss me: These things should happen naturally, and when a guy says “can I kiss you?” I find myself thinking “oh sure, should I go left?”. If it feels right and the moment is there, just go for it!

When are some of your dating pet-peeves?

About these ads

17 thoughts on “Featured Post (November 2010): Dating Downers

  1. I HATE it when guys don’t come to the door. If they can’t be bothered to greet me, why should I be bothered enough to go out with them?
    And I am totally with you on the asking to kiss thing. The whole situation is usually sexually tense anyway and then you go and add to the awkward level by telling/asking me what you’re going to do! No, thank you!

    • Me too! I just can’t help but think, how lazy can you be, dude?

      I would use those few seconds after a guy asked to kiss me to wig myself out and panic. Those things shouldn’t be scripted!

    • Agreed!! Girls need time to primp and be prepared when they’re dating (at least I do!) and when a guy asks on the fly I feel like I have to make excuses. If they’d call a couple days in advance it would be so much easier.

  2. Oh, over-eagerness! I am definitely dealing with this currently, although he has toned it down once we talked about it. At first he came on way too strong, and it was very off-putting, and he even seemed a bit depressed when I finally spoke up and asked him to stop texting me 100 times a day, but luckily we seem to have gotten passed it.

  3. i love these ALL. completely agree. i love the eagerness thing…everyone wants to be liked, but if you like me too much, and make it so easy…it’s not as much fun…and i know people say they hate games…but it’s about finding the right amount of balance…balance is key!

  4. Pingback: Tweets that mention Latest Post! Dating Downers: -- Topsy.com

  5. My latest – the one who told me HIS ENTIRE dating history since he was 16! He is 35! I know about the last 19 years of his dating life – and I found out ON THE FIRST DATE! Then he preceeded to discuss his financial situation with me. Same date, same beer. GET ME OUTTA HERE!

  6. Over-eagerness annoys me, too! If a guy has kids, I hate hearing him bash their mom. I also have a problem with a guy who talks about money a lot (either because he has it or because he doesn’t).

  7. I dislike all the things that you said. I specifically told someone before to never ask me the question ”can I kiss you?”. That’s really lame and it makes me want to say NO. :)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s