The Love List #3: Compatible Social Lifestyles

#3: Compatible social lifestyles

I really struggled with where to rank this one on my love list. I settled with #3 but the truth is that while everything on this list is a requirement of some sorts, these last 3 would be absolute deal breakers if not met.

Compatible social lifestyles is important to me because I’m an extrovert. I enjoy having a lot of people in my life and spending time with them. I love meeting them for a meal, drinks, a movie, pool, etc. I love chatting on the phone with my girlfriends, I love camping, quadding, vacationing and hosting (or attending) dinner parties or poker night, and I love going to hockey games. Because I’m an extrovert, I need to have enough in common with my partner to get along and know we really enjoy each other’s company on a daily basis. He’s friendly, funny, and easy to get along with and therefore he can hold his own when I bring him out, and most importantly, he likes my friends and enjoys the time we spend with them.

I know that guys love to watch sports with other guys, but I want someone who wants to have pizza, beer, and hockey night with me sometimes because I love hockey too! You wouldn’t think that would be too hard to find but lately I’ve dated more and more guys who aren’t into hockey or any sports (and here in Canada, that’s weird).

My perfect man enjoys spending time with me doing activities or just running through the daily routine, and out in groups with our friends doing things we all love. He also enjoys going out with the guys on his own and giving me time with my girls. Those occasions are perfect for each of us to do the things that the other doesn’t enjoy, like skiing for me, and the spa for him. Sometimes I need a bit of time to myself as well, and he’s okay with that because he’s not jealous (too jealous) or clingy. We manage to maintain our own lives while still being active in each other’s.

He has the ability to act appropriately. He can be proper and make small talk with my co-workers at the corporate Christmas parties, he never drinks too much, and he is always polite.

When our relationship goes to the next level, he needs to fit in with my family. He can tolerate my father, he’s cool talking about mechanics with my brother, sports with my cousins, and religion or politics with my cousin-in-law. He charms my favorite aunt with his manners, he doesn’t complain about church on Christmas Eve because it’s tradition, and after Thanksgiving dinner he offers to help with the dishes because in my family, the cook never cleans!

All in all, this one is important because our lives need to mesh well together. If we don’t enjoy some of the same things, the same kinds of people, or have the same needs in regards to time spent together and apart, then a long-term relationship simply wouldn’t work for me.

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9 thoughts on “The Love List #3: Compatible Social Lifestyles

  1. Love your love lists! Having compatible social lifestyles is an important item on the list, for sure! I think I view getting along with family members as a separate (and far less important) category, though. Family units are so unique. I care less about whether a guy gets along with my family members and more about whether he has my back in whatever family drama or confusion is going on.

    • I totally agree- my Mom is really difficult and my father is hard to handle- so my expectations on that are bendable… BUT- I am very close to a few of my cousins and a few family members in particular and so for me, he needs to get along with them as much as my friends because they are as much a part of my life. I think it would be terrible if he didn’t get along with anyone I’m really close with- it would cause problems when I want to do things as a group and would hurt me if, for instance, he didn’t like my cousin who is like a sister to me.

    • Thank you and absolutely! It’s not that I feel as though I’m going to meet someone who fits in exactly with my Love List but it’s so much easier to remember what’s important to me now that I’ve documented it. I don’t want to settle, or waste my time.

  2. Pingback: Revisiting “The Love List” « Quarter For Her Thoughts

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