Guest Post: My version of the “love list”

When Sarah asked me to do a guest post, I was delighted and touched…and really excited when she suggested I blog about my own “love list” given she’d been doing a fantastic series on this very topic.

So, here goes…my own (updated) love list – adapted from a post I did on my list of “must have’s” when I was on a self-imposed dating hiatus (which, incidentally, may be the case soon, unless I can figure out what I am going to do about CBE – captain blue eyes – in my own life!).

What do I want in love and a relationship? Beyond the things I’ve listed on the post noted above, I want to feel loved, I want to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the man in my life is “into” me.

What do I mean by that?

I want to know that I’m a priority in their life, as much as I feel they’re a priority in my life. I don’t want to put in 80%, when they only put in 20%, I want to meet in the middle, and be on the same page, and for it to just “feel” right. I know that’s wishy-washy and I know that may sound airy-fairy, too, but recently, it’s become more evident that it’s something I feel is necessary for me because I don’t want to feel like I’m more invested in the relationship than they are. And I don’t think that is too much to ask.

I also want someone that views life as a wide-open space that is full of opportunity, happiness and potential. However, at the same time, I want someone that feels what they feel – even if it’s not happiness at that moment, shake it off, and move on, back to that happy place. I think that’s important…but I also think it’s important to let your emotions out, so you can move back into that place of happiness. Again, I realize that maybe it’s a little wishy-washy, but it’s how I feel.

Other things? Don’t nitpick, but be honest. Don’t laugh at me, but laugh with me. Be active, but you don’t have to be a gym hero (as long as you can keep up with me!), be engaged enough in my career and life “outside if us” that I know you care (and of course, I will do the same), be respectful, be playful, don’t be too serious (but serious where it counts), have fun, have a life outside of “us” and most of all, treat me as you would treat your sister/mother/grandmother – with respect.

Okay, this is starting to sound a little like a match.com profile so I will stop there before it starts to get lame ;) These are some of the areas that I think are important in a relationship, however, I also think you only truly know what you want in a relationship when you’ve met that special person….and I’m still searching, but I know hes’s out there. I just need to keep the faith, push forward, and in the meantime, embrace life for what it is – pretty fan-frickin-tastic.

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18 thoughts on “Guest Post: My version of the “love list”

  1. Great post, Jolene! And, I love your last line. If you keep the faith and embrace life, the rest will fall into place!

  2. wow… wonderful post… rich balance of lines and words…..

    outstanding…. learned a lot….

    visit mine…& plz plz plz post your comments…..

    Thank YOU…

    I’ll be in touch….

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  4. Two items here on your list really jump out at me. They leap, I say. LEAP.

    The first: that the other person has to be “into” you, just as you are into them. Yes. Yes. A thousand times, yes. An imbalance here is death for the relationship.

    And the second: that they have to treat you with respect. Again… a must!

    Too many of the books I read while growing up romanticized the notion of being “unworthy” in a relationship. Lines like, “I worship the ground she treats me like,” or, “If you’re ever turn out to be right in an argument with your wife, apologize immediately,” sound funny and pithy, but like most romanticized notions of romance… they are dead wrong.

    Respect and love and being into the each other — that all has to be mutual, or your relationship is broken. And doomed.

    Don’t ask me how I know….

    • Thanks INRIS, glad you agree on that one – it’s huge to me, the “into you” part – I mean, if it’s not equal, or at least closer to equal, in that department, then it’s not truly love, in my opinion.

  5. Great guest post, Jolene. It seems like you are sorting through some things re: CBE (I sense an underlying tone of that), but as you told yourself in your blog, try not to over think too much. I know, better said than done. Let your gut guide you (I think I have said it before, but it always helps me).

    • thank you Pippi – you’re right, there are some underlying tones of that, and maybe overthinking a little too, here, creeping in! But I am trying to release that a little more and just see where it goes!

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