There are many people who want to have children, and there are many people who don’t. There are people who get pregnant on purpose and people who don’t. Some of those people choose to terminate a pregnancy, some choose to put a child up for adoption, and some choose to keep it. Some people have children in wedlock and some out-of-wedlock. Some people with children divorce and some remain married. Some single parents get married, and some remain single. Some women choose to get a sperm donor and are artificially inseminated and some find a surrogate. Some women adopt on their own and even some men adopt on their own.
There are many different ways people view parenthood, enter parenthood, and change throughout parenthood. None of those ways is wrong, everyone’s ideals and circumstances are different and no one has the right to judge another person’s decisions or situations.
Of course I have my personal opinions which is why I’m writing this post, but my opinions are subject to myself only. I can’t impose those thoughts onto the people around me. (No, I’m not writing this post because I’m pregnant- it’s just a subject that I’ve been meaning to write about.) I’ve known from the time I was a pre-teen that if I ever got pregnant I would keep it. I’ve always been the motherly sort and I never had any doubts that someday I would have children. I decided that if I ever got “knocked up” I would face the consequences of my actions regardless of what stage in my life I was at. Luckily for me I have thus far not had to deal with this life altering event which would surely have knocked me flat on my ass. I would love to be a Mom, but I had other things to do first.
I’m at a stage now where the idea of pregnancy doesn’t scare me so much. My situation still isn’t ideal… I’m not married and though I make a good salary, my nest egg is still relatively small. But the fact is, that there is never a “perfect” time to start a family, and there is no “perfect” family.
I’m not saying that I want to have children right now, but I am saying that I’ve come far enough in life that my world wouldn’t crumble if I did get pregnant. It would no longer be an earth shattering event because I’m no longer a child myself. I’m an adult, equipped to handle whatever life throws at me, even if that comes in the form of a little bundle of joy.
To be honest, I feel more equipped and settled to be a Mother than I do a Wife. Marriage means finding someone you’re compatible to spend the rest of your life with, which is not an easy process and I’m not willing to settle for someone who makes me unhappy. Conception doesn’t give you the option to have a perfect child, you get what you get and then you help to mold them into the kind of adult you can be proud of. I can’t mold a husband, I have to find one that’s already perfect for me.
So where am I going with this? Nowhere, really. I just came to a realization that I’m a capable adult, and I could handle something like this if it happened.
Where does this leave me now? Right where I am, but a little more confident. I have no desire to try and get pregnant out-of-wedlock. That might be a different story down the road- say if I’m still single when I’m 30. If that were the case then maybe I would consider having a child on my own through a sperm donor or something- but there would be a lot of pros and cons to be considered. Maybe I’ll analyze that scenario in my next post.