It’s In His Kiss


I started thinking about this last night but I was too tired to blog about it, so I called up my girlfriend T, instead. “I think I’ve become a bad kisser!” I said. She laughed one of those “what are you TALKING about” kind of laughs- and I explained.

If you had asked me a couple years ago if I was a good kisser- I would have without a doubt said yes, but the last few guys I’ve kissed- it just hasn’t been that great.  The first couple times I thought our kisses just didn’t mesh very well together but after my lame make out session on Saturday, I started to wonder if it was ME! Somewhere during my last long-term relationship with a mediocre kisser, I’ve forgotten how to kiss!

Thankfully, T assured me that I am probably NOT a bad kisser. She confirmed what I had been thinking before Saturday which was that everyone kisses differently and sometimes it just doesn’t go very smooth- it doesn’t necessarily mean that either of you are a bad kisser. Okay. Great. I can accept that. But that leads me to another question then…

Is it in his kiss?

Come on now, you know the Cher song… you know the old sayings… so is it true? Do you know when you’ve met “The One” when your kisses are perfect? I’ve had a lot of beautiful kisses in my time but I can’t say any have ever caused me to see stars, there’s never been any fireworks in the background. So is that what I’m waiting for? Will I know it’s him when our kisses cause earthquakes?

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7 thoughts on “It’s In His Kiss

  1. Haha, I am sure you’re not a bad kisser…your friend has a VERY good point, we all do kiss differently!

    Is it in his kiss??…Honestly, may not sound romantic enough for you, but I think not. I remember I had a friend once who was “talking”, not yet in a relationship, with a very sweet guy. He was honest, cute, genuine about her and had honorable intentions for the relationship….then one day she came to me and said…”We kissed…”. I squealed but quickly stopped at her expression. She had been waiting for this and suddenly, she looks like she’s bored?? So I asked her what was wrong, why she wasn’t happy. She told me it didn’t make “sparks fly”, that she didn’t see stars, as you mentioned. I was annoyed when she ended their friendship/almost relationship BECAUSE of this. Since then, I’ve thought it was ridiculous to believe that a kiss tells all, and that the future of a relationship is based on that. Here’s why.
    (I’ve thought about this a lot!!! LOL!)

    1: Ok, first of all, if you practice enough, in time, the normal thing is that your kissing and your partner’s kissing get’s considerably better…because you get more comfortable, you get to know what they like and vice versa. So, a first kiss is hard to depend upon. Most first kisses or first few are pretty clumsy and all-over-the-place. You know?

    2: The “sparks” that you feel, in my opinion, don’t come from the kiss, they come from how you FEEL about that person. The friend I told you about – she wasn’t all that into the guy. She was the kind that kept at a distance emotionally so that she wouldn’t be hurt and so that, in case the chemistry went bad, she could always back out. I think when you are already in love with the person, when you already are what you’d call “head over heels” over the guy/girl, the kiss is much more special because of the anticipation, and the desire to even HAVE the kiss.

    Well, that’s all the evidence I have, if you can even call it that, haha. But, from my own experiences, I don’t think that’s it. Honestly my first boyfriend, who I didn’t like much at all, tried his best at making his kiss good. And I mean, yeah it was okay, it was nice, but I didn’t feel anything because no matter how great his kiss was, it wasn’t going to change the way I felt about him. That didn’t last. My second boyfriend, my long-term relationship, was very clumsy physically at first. We went through a lot of weird, and awkward moments where we missed each other’s mouth, where we didn’t know exactly what to do, lol, but I loved him so much and he loved me back, that kissing, even if we were bad at it, felt so good. And eventually we got pretty experienced, so it was 100x times better!! :) That’s my long opinion on this.

  2. I sway to the side that kissing is something that ages like fine wine. It gets so much better with each one. Sure the first time there might be a spark, but gaurnteed it’s going to be something more than just the kiss. It could be the touch. The look. The passion in his eyes.

    But a kiss will either go one of two directions. Get worse, due to the passion, and love leaving, or greater and more loving, with a sure sense of love. Which makes it perfect.

    So it’s not in the kiss, the kiss becomes better with a result of “it”. With “it” being all other elements to the moment and relationship.

  3. Okay Brenda- I’ve been thinking of my response to your comment for a few days and here goes-

    I think you just proved my point, LOL. I’m not a sappy, ooey-gooey, lovey-dovey person either… and I’m not the type to expect sparks to fly over a kiss, and I would never break up with someone just because the kisses didn’t sparkle… but… look what you said,

    “We went through a lot of weird, and awkward moments where we missed each other’s mouth, where we didn’t know exactly what to do, lol, but I loved him so much and he loved me back, that kissing, even if we were bad at it, felt so good.”

    It was the chemistry you had that made the kisses good, regardless of the technical jazz, right?

    So, if there was any chemistry between me and my last victim, then the kisses would have felt better I think. It’s not like he was slobbering all over my face or anything- it just wasn’t very fluent- does that make sense? There was no emotion, no sparkle, nothing there but plain, old, kissing.

    I’ve had my fair share of kisses (with different men). I’ve met men who kissed good, men who kissed bad, and men who were just mediocre. When I think about this, this is the pattern I see: The better the chemistry I had with someone, the better we “meshed” as a couple: the better the kisses.

    I wonder if your kissing compatibility is an indicator of your relationship compatibility. That is why I wonder “Is it in his kiss?”…

    I wonder if I meet “the one” if our kisses will set off fireworks. Will I know right away, by his kiss, that “yep, this is him”?

    I hope that makes sense!!

    newme- agreed!!

    Travis- agreed, but I wonder if that first kiss can detect all that love right off the bat. I think there is something to be said for pheromones and chemistry.

  4. Oh my gosh! I can’t believe I proved YOUR point while trying to make my own! I get what you mean now – and yes, it does make perfect sense. Maybe we should rephrase it….”Is it in our chemistry?” Hahaha.

  5. I had a first kiss, that had really good chemistry. Drop dead intense. I thought for sure that meant something. But, I learned that it was just because she kissed a lot of guys, and knew how to draw men in with a kiss.

    But the best relationship I ever had, started out with a terrible kiss, so terrible, that it became a bit of inside joke. The kissing got intensely better over that. From what I’ve experienced and having friends in similar situations. I’m in belief that the first kiss will be no indicator if they are the one. It will be how you two grow together, demonstrated by how much better the kiss gets from the beginning.

    As I think about it. We didn’t kiss for quite a bit of time. We talked a whole ton, and got to knew each other. It took a second kiss to actually have me think about how good it was.

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